June 2010
1 post
April 2010
1 post
Overheard in my office
Adrian: Did you know that a train traveling around the world at the speed of light would pass us 7 times a second? And if we stopped them after a day of traveling they would have only experienced a half of a day. And they would actually be a half a day younger.
Erik: How. How would one get on that train?
Adrian: Ah! That is the eternal question.
February 2010
1 post
January 2010
10 posts
Sometimes I tumbl myself
I like my own jokes, because nobody else will.
Via twitter
“kferino On my way to the airport. 4am came rather fast”
“@kferino my advice, invest in a clockring.”
A blog wrapped in a tumblr wrapped in bacon →
Taking a blog class. I realized after the fact was a really dumb idea. It’s on par with the photography class I took that taught us how to get those pictures from the camera onto the computer. Oh, well, at least me made me start one.
shit i blog cos i dont want to ever forget...
truth
fembot:
dont ever play guessing games with colleen. she doesnt like to do it, and if you force her into it, her answers always trump the truth.
me: oh my god. guess how many people have viewed the bad romance video.
colleen: how many.
me: guess.
colleen: no.
me: guess.
collen: no.
me: guess!
colleen: 300 million.
My gift is my curse →
I wish you could see
“I wish you could see what I see right now. It’s perfect.”
- My gynecologist upon examining my cervix. Thanks doc, it means a lot. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you.
Stranger
I had one of those moments today. I was walking through Rittenhouse. It’s my normal route, you see. As I’m walking I see him in my path from a distance. We get closer and closer and I’m hoping to God I don’t have to acknowledge his existence. But it seems inevitable. And so it is, we cross paths. We awkwardly look into each others eyes. I go one way, so does he. I go the...
November 2009
1 post
My dreams. Open for your interpretation.
I have pretty vivid dreams all the time. I tend to believe they mean something.
Last night I had a dream I was at my parents house and it was haunted by a demon that I couldn’t see. But then finally I saw it. It was the face of a woman on the ceiling. Then I saw her standing on top of the stairs. But by the time I realized it was real, it was too late. She had taken over the house and I...
September 2009
2 posts
An invitation
these are the kinds of invites I get.. taken directly from an IM convo
“question. if i buy concert tickets and can’t find a broad to bone afterward, will you go with me? “
List
Warning:
This is Girly (with a capital G), so if you continue reading and get pissed you wasted your time, joke’s on you.
Whining:
I used to write for this one Philly Girl dating blog. I liked doing it. It was fun. But after a while it forced me to admit to myself that I really am an inherently awful dater. Not only am I as awkward Lindsey Lohan wearing panties, I was writing the blog for...
August 2009
3 posts
my days
me: explain to me again how twilight vampires can go in the sun?
Sent at 2: 55 PM on Thursday
Colleen: the can go in
but
wait for it
they sparkle
and it would give away their secret
me: but they're vampires
Colleen: so?
me: VAMPIRES CAN'T GO IN THE FUCKIN SUN
Colleen: silly greg
me: it's like rule 1, maybe 2 after drinking blood
Colleen: that's just a myth
me: i'm tumbling this, as proof to my unborn, never to be born children that i did not get down with this shit when it was popular, and that i was a vampire purist...should the topic ever arise
July 2009
1 post
Right in front of me
Sometimes I wonder why I’m single, then I realize the answers are right there in front of me. Me: there is one dude that i had a jonsin for i think he’s scared of me though Greg: oof he probably is
Me: most likely although i didn’t fart or anything
May 2009
1 post
April 2009
4 posts
Little plastic people in a big real world →
My friend, let’s call him Alexander Buttersnatch (Mike Bray), introduced me to this guy a while ago and I was reminded of him during my recent foray into StumbleUpon. Photographer Vincent Bousserez created this world of miniature people living in the big world. I love love love it. But it’s pretty addictive. I feel bad for these little people. I wonder how many of them are eaten my...
Life checklist
I decided in January, much like I’ve decided every January before, that this will be the year I get my life in some sort of order. This is strictly confined to things that I have control over (excludes zits, dating, and the weather.)
So, December 29th, started wii fit, lost 7 lbs. February 1st, quit wii fit, gained 5 back.
Consolidated my loans and credit card debt. Found out that if I...
Reality check
I always wanted to write a book. About me of course, because I’m intensely self absorbed. But then I realize how unrealistic of a goal that is considering the following: 1.) I don’t even have enough material to maintain this tumblr 2.) My Catholic Guilt (read: parents) would prevent me from writing anything truly funny/ telling in fear of further Catholic Guilt being thrust upon me)....
March 2009
2 posts
February 2009
8 posts
A List Of Things I Enjoyed About Last Night
Love
emilyi:
• Our cab driver to Cantina was playing his mixtape from 1987. It was all doo wop songs he’d taped off the radio and it was the bomb.
• The DJ at North Bowl put on “The Power of Love” which caused Hilary to look at Chris and say, “Can I tell you that I secretly love this song?” He agreed that he did too. At the exact same time, Ashlie was telling me she was upset with the way she...
Grownup
Some people my age realize they’re adults when they get a real job, when they get married or maybe when they have their first child. Not me.
I was just looking at the instructions on my cotton candy machine that sits on my desk. The instructions read “Ask an adult to plug in the machine”. That’s when it hit me.
Holy shit. I’m an adult.
Overheard in my office
My extremely disturbing conversation with the cleaning guy
Guy: Why are you always so happy?
Me: I dunno… yadda yadda yadda. How are you?
Guy: I’m OK. Sometimes I get depressed. Think about things that happened. Makes me wanna do crazy things.
Silence
Me: Well I’m glad you don’t do them?
Guy: Well, if i do though….. ahhhhh nevermind (with a hand wave off and...
January 2009
8 posts
Cute things falling asleep →
This a.) made my day and b.) is about how i feel right now
Overheard in my office
On Adrian trying to teach himself Scarborough Fair on the guitar while I am writing.
Adrian: Ah! There! You hear it?
Me: No.
Adrian: I hope you’re better as a mother. “Mom, see what a drew?” “Yes honey, it looks like shit.”
Overheard in my office
Me: It’s a new me in ‘08
Ashlie: ‘09
Me: right.
December 2008
14 posts
“I don’t like losing weight. Makes me feel like I have AIDS”
– Adrian, after telling him about my Wii fit progress
Fun At Work!
From Emily
Colleen: I am so over hippies.
Erik: Why are you looking at me? I'm not a hippie.
Me: You are to hippie what I am to hipster.
Erik: Okay, I can see that.
Me: So you're about halfway there.
Colleen: Halfway?!
Me: I'm wearing a Polo sweater, Colleen.
Colleen: Ironically.
“Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to...”
– Chuck Klosterman Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs
A list
Here is a list of all the things I am thankful for having tonight (in no particular order):
Antibiotics
Cats
Talented friends who make pretty things for me to look at and feel good about myself through association
Vampires
Hot Chocolate
Blankets
White Christmas on at 9
A Christmas tree
A hair appt tomorrow and seeing Edward with Ashlie
Sigh
Overheard in my office
Me: Who sings this aweful song? Offspring?
Adrian: No it’s the same band that sings that “Mother” song
Me: Danzig?
Adrian: How did you know that? Did you look it up?
Me: No. I have Guitar Hero.
Sigh